Stake Women's Conference

On Saturday morning before the Ensign's came over, I was able to attend the Stake
Women's Conference.  There were 7 different workshops and you could attend 3. 

Our Stake President, President Bluth began the day with a task entitled "Discovering Your Divine Purpose through Personal Revelation"

He began by telling us of the electronic towers on South montain (which I have yet to see) and how all kinds of information is pass through those towers on to us.  he cited 1 Nephi 15:6-11, there are certain things that we have to do to receive the broacasts (messages ) from Heavenly Father

1. Pray for Guidane   Matthew 7:7-8
2. Be Reverent     Reverence is a profound respect and love
3. Be Humble     Humility helps us recognize our dependence on Heavenly Father
4. Keep the Commandments
5. Partake of the Sacrament Worthily
6. Study the Scriptures Daily
7. Take the time to Ponder     Open your mind and heart
8. Study Out in your Mind the things you are trying to find answers to
9. Patiently seek God's will   Doctrine & Covenants 88:66-68  His time, His way

He also quoted one of the twelve apostles (couldn't write fast enough) that said "we are not here to be entertained; we are here to be tried" speaking of our mortal existence on this earth.

He asked that Heavenly Father might give us peace and that our lives would be such that we can receive the messages from Heavenly Father.


The first workshop I went to was "Attitude is Everything" by Sharryl Hales (my mission companion)

Sharryl said that we need to find out "What am I on earth today, what am I to do to prepare for the ushering in the second coming of Jesus Christ?"

"THIS IS A GREAT TIME TO BE ALIVE - there are many good things and many good people, the true church is on the earth to stay! Yeah!"  This was written to Sharryl in a letter from a mentor she grew up with.

Sharryl told us that her mother has been a great example to her of having a positive attitude.  When Sharryl was in high school her mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  It was years before she realized how serious it had been because her mother kept such a positive outlook.

Her montras
Past - "Don't cry over spilt milk" ; you can't change what happened (you performed poorly on a test) you have to see what you can do so it's a positive experience next time around (study harder)

Present - "Prepare for Plan B" ; Our plan may be Plan A but Heavenly Father is preparing Plan B.  Talk out what will happen if you don't get what you are trying for.  Sharryl wanted a role in the school play (she admits she has no talent for this and her mom knew that). Her mom didn't discourage her in any way but asked "What if you don't get that part" She helped her work for it but allowed her that when she didn't get that part she was not left in a void saying "what do I do now" but had comfort to fall back on.

Future - Don't worry about the things you can't control; how your children will turn out, the weather, some health issues, other people's choices (eternal perspective - part of agency); Focus on what I CAN DO, how I deal with the children or go dance in the rain; when Sharryl hears of the negative things happening the world she thinks "we're that much closer to the Savior coming again"

Be prayerful that you may be able to see the eternal perspective, who I am and what I am here to do

The next workshop I went to was
"Developing Positive, Intimate Relationships in Marriage and Families"
by Hyrum Wright (marriage counselor)

He started by citing Doctrine and Covenants 50:23-25
He then showed us the results of his search for books on Amazon that deal with relationships; titles were "How to get what you want from your relationship", "Love Languages" "For Women Only, what you need to know about the inner workings of men" "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"; He said he has read all of these books and is not putting them in a bad light but they all have a common thread - YOU

Aren't relationships supposed to be about coming together.  He said that even in Love Languages, it is about categorizing and saying "you are this" "I am this" we need to bring that together to make it work.  Referring to the book "For Women Only" was "if you want to know, just ask them"  Just ask, talking is the key!

Brother Wright separated the difference between Control and Relationship

CONTROL

D&C 121:39 unrighteous dominion refers to men AND WOMEN

1. Removes Agency:you do this or I will leave; you better or else
2. Objectifies; you treat someone as an object such as a chair, if you hit a chair it doesn’t matter or say mean things to them it doesn’t matter because they have no feelings like a chair
3. Easily distracted; example of being in a checkout line and the person answers their phone without giving the clerk their full attention as they finish their transaction
4. Takes other for granted
5. Attitude; “it’s just the way I am” “it’s my right”; Jesus Christ went into the Garden of Gethsemane and took upon himself all our sins, because He doesn’t want us as we are, He wants us better!
6. Expectations, “he’s/she’s SUPPOSED to do this”

CONSEQUENCES OF CONTROL

1. Selfish
2. High Maintenance
3. Sarcastic
4. Critical (nagging) – women nag because they are have no control
5. Needs are always focused on self

RELATIONSHIP

Before we were Married – Bro. Wright hears this from all his patients; what you really had is:

1.   Connection D&C 50:22; we could talk for hours and when we kissed it was real

2.   Giving Mosiah 2:17;  could meet anwhere and make excused to see each other

3.   Apple of My Eye Deut 32:10 (translation of apple = little person)  they are all I can think about – he had us turn to our neighbor and get so close to them that we can see our image in their eyeball; he asked if we could see him while doing that and we said no because we could only see that person and our image

4.   Serve each other; always meet each other’s needs

5.   Trust and Unity  Proverbs 3:5;  always there for each other

6. Industry, Goals, Concerned about Future   4 Nephi 47:7-17;  they were building buildings, working as a team, relying on the Lord

CONSEQUENCES OF RELATIONSHIP

1. Feel Complete
2. Trust
3. Unity
4. Industry (work together on repairing relationship)
5. Peace and Happiness
6. Focus is on Others

DEFENSE MECHANISMS

CONTROL

Non-forgiving
Frustrated
Bitterness
Anger
Depression - depression is about the past; somewhere in your past is control that you aren't ready to let go of

RELATIONSHIP

Loneliness
Empty
Isolation
Anxiety - about future; you still see yourselves together, looking toward future

WHAT CAN WE DO

1.  Spend Time Together - sometimes you have to make the time, plan ahead D&C 88:119

2.  Talk, talk, talk, talk - finances, time, kids, intimacy; your feelings matter but so do his D&C 50:22; talk to your Heavenly Father daily like this also.  Discuss things specifically with Him; He wants this relationship with you as well - Bro. Wright tells men "if you want a better realtionship with your wife you need to TALK, PLAY WITH THE KID, GET A TOOLBELT AND USE IT; if you are putting up a lightbulb it shows here you're here, you're invested, this is our home and we're doing this together

3  PLACE Jesus in the center of your home and relationship; What would Jeus do and say is the foundation of what and how you say and do things  Helaman 5:12

4.  Cannot dictate or control what another says or does or feels; you can ony choose what you will say or do; AGENCY  2 Nephi 2:27

Pray for Healing, Understanding, Patience - Be SPECIFIC!

The last workshop I went to was on Birth Order; Brother Nesbit had so much information that was fascinating. I could not write it all but would send you to look at http://www.amorningforwomen.blogspot.com/

I enjoyed these workshops very much and hope this information inspires you as it did me.